How to Survive 'Single Depression,' According to Dating Expert Monique Kelley
Relationships February 23, 2023
If you find yourself stuck in a “dating depression,” there’s a way out!
Monique Kelley is a dating expert and the woman behind “Confessions of a Serial Dater in L.A.,” a blog she started after getting divorced and finding herself back on the dating scene.
Monique returned to “The Jennifer Hudson Show” on the February 23 episode to discuss the many stages of singledom, with an emphasis on singles who find themselves depressed without having that someone special by their side.
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“There are people out there, they have manifested, they have prayed, they’re doing their vision boards,” she said to Jennifer Hudson. “They are over being single. They are like, ‘Where is my boo?!’”
“It’s exhausting,” she continued. “And sometimes it gets overwhelming. You’re longing for this person, you’re waiting for this person.”
Don’t get down on yourself just because you want to find love and haven’t yet. “I don’t know where this myth came from that just because you’re having a dating depression moment that somehow that means you’re not living your best life or you’re not independent,” Monique said.
“It’s called having a human moment. And human moments do happen.”
Don’t hesitate to reach out to someone — friends, family members, or a professional — to talk about your feelings. “Therapy is self-care,” she said. “So when you’re in that dark place of single depression, it’s alright to reach out and also get therapy.”
For those who are newly single, Monique has some advice for you, too.
“Don’t fantasize about what you thought the relationship was going to be,” she said. Also, “Remember why you all broke up. It’s super easy to think about the good times… and you get stuck in that, and a lot of women find themselves going back and forth with their exes.”
“Being single is brave,” she said. “You’re constantly putting yourself out there for the potential to be disappointed and let down.”
And just because you’re single now, it doesn’t mean it will be that way forever. “Being single is a journey, and you never know what’s going to happen,” she told JHud. “There’s going to be ups and downs, there’s going to be twists and turns.”
Plus, the single life doesn’t have to be depressing if you don’t wait t to be. “Not every person who is single is unhappy,” Monique pointed out. “There are people that are enjoying their single life!”
For more dating advice, check out Monique’s blog “Confessions of a Serial Dater in L.A.” and follow her on Instagram at @cocktailsandconfessions.
“The Jennifer Hudson Show” airs weekdays. Here’s when to watch in your area.